Being a “failure” was not widely considered bad until the Great Depression. 

Until that moment in history, people’s identities were more fluid.   “Oh well, he wasn’t a good farmer, so he’s a hat maker now.” There was no sense of failure, just change. 

Some people come to me and confess that they’re afraid.  “I’m on the verge of failure, and I’m terrified.”

I’m struck by how powerfully people react to the idea of failing, but it comes as no surprise.  Our culture has the wrong idea about failure.  We fail to celebrate failure.

Too many mangers and teachers and parents focus on telling people HOW to do things—and end up judging the process rather than the end result.

Maybe I do things differently than other people, but if the answer is right, does it really matter how I got to it?

When I was in high school, I worked ridiculously long hours, but I could never quite keep up.  Every semester, I would fall behind. My guidance counselor would call me into the office, puzzled.  “I don’t get it.  You’re a screw-up, but you’re so smart.  You need to get it together.”

Meanwhile, I was working my butt off. 

I didn’t quite get it either.  I was working twice as hard as everyone else, and I still couldn’t cut it.  Yet, I knew that I wasn’t dumb.  I was smart, but I wasn’t good doing things according to the “right” process or procedure. 

As an adult, I learned to embrace flexibility, to do things my own way.  And now that I use my own approach, I almost always get it right.  Success comes to me—and I think to many people—through  “failing.”

I’ve learned that taking flexibility out of any system is always bad.   Whether it is how you view yourself or how you do your job, keep a sense of flexibility, a limber mind, a willingness to change.

It’s no surprise to me that, in today’s economy, that’s the advice that all of the major analysts are giving.  Stay flexible.

In a recent article in the Wall Street Journal, columnist Alina Dizik  writes about outsourcing your chores.

At first she was skeptical.  Would it work?  What information would she have to share?  Would the assistant do a good job?

She tested four different companies that assign you a virtual assistant:  GetFriday, Chennai, Red Butler, and AskSunday.
She put her virtual assistants through their paces, assigning them to research vacation options and prices, buy a wedding gift for a friend, and make inquiries to her health insurance company.

By the end of the article, she writes, “At first it was hard to outsource chores, but after a while it became easier. As a matter of fact, I’ve already started another to-do list for my virtual assistant.”
Even if you aren’t quite ready to send your laundry list to India, consider gathering a local team that will help you get things done.
What do you dislike doing?  What do you put off?

If it’s going to the grocery store, hire someone to pick your plums and fetch your milk.  If it’s doing your laundry, get a service.
The time and energy you save by NOT doing your own chores will be well worth the money.   Ponder that while you’re lugging another bag of mulch around your yard this weekend!

Much of this week’s sports news centers on the opening of the World Cup, and I love it! 

Not because I’m a particularly keen sports fan, but because the games are an amazing celebration of excellence.  An exhibition of the best playing the best.

Why not strive to harnessing that kind of power?

One of the lead stories out of the last World Cup was the conflict between France’s Zinedine Zidane and Italy’s Marco Materazzi.

After being taunted by Materazzi in the final game, Zidane delivered an aggressive head butt to Materazzi’s chest, knocking him over.  That move resulted in a red card for Zidane and marked the end of his World Cup career.  He went out on a bad note.  Passionate, but bad.  It is unfortunate that such a great player will be forever remembered not for his contributions to the sport, but for one rash decision.

The head butt wasn’t a complete surprise, however.  The World Cup, the Olympics–any contest involving a test of excellence–requires a tremendous amount of passion.

The look of intensity, deep focus, and complete mastery is something you can read on the face of every player.

I often thing about how powerful that intensity could be in all of life.  We’re encouraged to keep things at an even keel too often.  In some ways, that’s OK.  I mean, head butting co-workers–video-game style– is out of the question!

But fostering a culture of passionate focus–where you and the people around you are spurred to gain and express mastery over your field could make your workplace a much more interesting, rewarding, productive place.  Imagine how it would feel if you experimented with those ideas in your home life–putting yourself “all in” to your family.

I love talking with high achievers about how to get even more out of their performance.  If you’re on the cusp and eager to grow, I’d be glad to strategize with you about how to take practical steps in that direction.  Please call me at 804.288.0099.  I look forward to talking with you!

Yesterday marked the 45th anniversary of the first American space walk. The space walker, astronaut Ed White, was on the Gemini IV mission. He described it as the happiest time of his life–dancing and spinning above the sparkling earth.

I think this moment in time teaches a powerful lesson.

Let yourself wish and long for those gravity-free moments.

Dwell in a world of possibility.  Surround yourself with ideas and people that inspire you.  The stuff of dreams isn’t just for little kids.  It’s worth reminding ourselves of that in very deliberate terms. In fact, big dreams and improbable flights of fancy can be important fuel.

Dreaming big gives us energy for the long haul.  

White’s space walk became a reality not just because he dreamed about it–wanted it, longed for it–but also because he put forth a great deal of hard work.  Months and years of studying and preparing for life as an astronaut led up to those brief minutes of freedom.

So, let yourself dream and then turn the passion of those hopes into real, tangible action.

–Sit down with a notebook: Jot down big ideas AND the strategies you need to pursue them

–Talk with a partner or trusted confidant:  Look for someone supportive, but impartial.  You’ll need to stay focused and challenged if you’re going to take the first step out of the shuttle and into the cosmos.

The NASA image of the day commemorates the moment.

more about “YouTube - Gemini 4 | NASAs First Ever…“, posted with vodpod

Some people use personality profiles to gain insights that will help them choose or change careers, but are these tests really helpful?

In the midst of a time of great searching and struggle, reading the results and understanding them can be very frustrating.

The experience feels something like this: Let me get this straight–I ticked through a hundred check boxes, commented on the color of my umbrella, and now you’re telling me I’m a PTEXRV?  Say what??

You can see the results but you don’t feel them.  They don’t seem to connect. 

That’s because these tests should NOT be substitutes for approaches to identifying your strengths.  They can be supplements, but they should never be substitutes.

Use a holistic approach to assessing your interests and strengths.

I often ask clients to make a list of everything that makes them happy.  Not just happy but—hold the bus—flat-out euphoric.  A general sense of well-being.  A floating feeling.  Tingling.  Joy.

Look for those moments when you’re excited about something.  When you feel like you’re in the zone.

What makes you feel that way?
Discussing finances with a friend and helping them solve a problem?
Walking into a room and being intrigued, fascinated, enthralled by its design?
Reading something new?
Once you have the list,  start asking questions about how you spend your time.  How you wish you could spend your time.

Drill down, further than you are comfortable.

Put pen to paper and write a definition of yourself.  This is a powerful act.

If the definition comes from you—rather than from an expert or a personality assessment–it has meaning.  It sticks.
Don’t Go It Alone.
Having a partner in this process is important.  Sometimes it’s hard to know what questions to ask, much less actually force yourself to answer the really tough ones.